Date: Tue, 4 Aug 1998

From: Richard Martin <Richard.Martin@JSTAND.DEMON.CO.UK>

Subject: Copenhagen Diary:Day 1

Editors note: "due to circumstances beyond our control there are no pictures!"

Let me first say that any (allegedly) libellous statements made in the following report about such persons whose names will not be changed in order to protect their identity are entirely true,and if they want to sue me,I've got no money left.Besides,I'll win in court anyway !!

So here goes..........

DAY ONE =======

It's funny how you react to the alarm clock each morning.For a normal working day,I get up at 5 - 5:30am and sometimes it's a real struggle when there is absolutely no enthusiasm.Last Friday (31st),the alarm was set for 4am.However,I was awake at 3:30 looking at the clock waiting for the minutes to tick by,and as soon as it hit 4:00 I was out of bed like a shot.The new football season for me was about to begin,and more importantly,the first European Away was only a few hours away.It's hard to explain the thrill of watching United in Europe;it's just something that you HAVE to experience and when you do,it's like a drug,you want more.

Despite getting up in plenty of time,I managed to get to the check-in desk at Birmingham Airport a mere 15 minutes before take off.I had visions of having an argument with the check-in clerk and then running like hell to the boarding gate,just like I did at Heathrow last December when catching (and VERY nearly missing) the flight to Nice for the Juventus game.Thankfully,however,the staff at Birmingham Airport are far more understanding and said "no problem,we'll get you on".

The flight was routine and uneventful.The on-board breakfast and drinks were lifesavers to me,however.After having charged across the airport car park,I was a physical wreck.The last time I ran like that was across the finish line of the London Marathon in 1990 (whether you finish 21304 instead of 21305 makes ALL the difference !!!)In between,I have done absolutely no running of any sort.Instead,I have added several stone to the body weight and many hundreds (thousands ?) of gallons of beer have passed through me.

I arrived at Copenhagen Airport at 10am,met Barry Leeming and his two lads and waited for Mick Meade to arrive from London.Mick duly arrived and we headed off into town,checking into the hotel on the way.The place was fall of international kickboxers,which I initially thought was an SPS recruitment day,so we had to be on our best behaviour.We didn't check out our rooms (that *little* surprise was saved for later.....about 15 pints later !!).

We met up with a couple of Brondby fan friends of Barry in the Piccadilly,then moved onto another bar with a dozen or so scandanavian reds turning up.Apparently the barmaid recognised me from 4 years ago.I told her that I'd left my wallet on the bar and could I have it back.It didn't work,but it was worth asking !!

Another bar (The originally titled "The Old English Pub" to meet up with Mike Dobbin and we then headed off to a bar where several hundred of the MUSC Scandanavian Branch were meeting up.On the way,I saw someone walk towards us wearing a red polo shirt with a United emblam on it. Thinking,naturally,that it was a United fan I moved to greet him (as you do when you're already pissed and it's only 4pm),then called out "You look like David May.....f*****' hell,you are David May !!!!"

Well,there was only one thing I could do in the circumstances...I started off a big chant of "David May,Superstar,got more medals than Shearer !!!".In the middle of a terrace at a football match,this is not such a bad idea.In the middle of the afternoon in a busy Copenhagen street,this does not happen to often.Maysie,bless him,was last seen scuttling down the street laughing his head off !!

A couple of hours in the company of several hundred pissed up reds,including a few from the lists (hello Bo from Copenhagen...there were others but I can't remember your names,sorry) and a couple of lovely young ladies who had travelled 4 hours on a coach to be there (hello Betina and Christina if you're reading),and we were ready to head off to the game.Mick and I were also interviewed by a TV station,though we were so pissed I would be VERY surprised if it were broadcast !! ( I can't even remember what we said !!)

Nice stadium and great seats Barry.I can't remember the last time I sat level with the half way line (in the 800 or so times that I have seen United,I could probably count on 2 hands the number of times I have been on the half way line.I've always stood in the Stretford End or sat in J Stand at OT,and since when have "away" allocations been anywhere near the halfway line ?).

A very enjoyable match and a great performance by ALL of our players, especially Jaap Stam on his debut and a stunning double save by Schmikes in the first half when the score was still 0-0.Special mention too must go to Roy Keane.Even though this was only a friendly,Keano would have nothing of it.Just watching him fire-up the players at the start of the second half made me realise exactly how much we missed his influence last season.Welcome back Roy.

The atmosphere was good and I'm not being patronising or meaningly rude here to the Danes,but I couldn't help but smile when they were singing "United".It just didn't sound right...more like 3 words rather than one word in 3 parts.I guess you'd have to have been their to understand what I am trying to say.They also had a good little song directed at the Brondby fans,which roughly translated said "go back to Kindergarden" !!

Me and Mick tried to get some of our favourites going,but they didn't really take off,so we just had to sing them ourselves.However,as we were both pretty shitfaced by now,it didn't stop us going at full metal.Kerry Davies and Mike Dobbin were sat just in front of us,but despite plenty of provocation and encouragement from Mick and I,they kept very silent."C'mon lads,only come to see United ?" "Part-time supporters ?" A rendition of "If you all hate scousers,clap your hands" had someone tap Mick on the shoulder and ask "What are scousers ?" I think Mick's answer mentioned something about hubcap stealing,granny stabbing bastards.

And so the match ended with a highly satisfying result.I know that you can't read too much into games like this,but Brondby won the double last season and were playing at home,so this was no mean achievment.

A planned meet up with Kerry and the Red News crew never happened,and the consequences of that I was to find out after I got back home. (Barry,they were in Rosie Magees,you daft sod.....don't argue with the doorman next time !!),so we spent most of the after-match drinking (eventually) in The Globe Irish pub.I say eventually because Barry managed to get us lost on the short walk back to the train station.One long walk and an hour later,we *finally* made it back to The Globe. Many,many beers later,we left their at about 2:30am and headed off looking for somewhere else to drink.Most places were shutting,but we ended up in a Karoake Bar in time to see some bloke crucify "Bohemian Rhapsody".We stayed on 'til about 3:00,then left Mike Dobbin to carry on on behalf of the "Reds On Tour".Mike denied this the next day,but I am sure that the only reason he stayed on was to strut his stuff on the Karaoke machine !!

Common Mike,you can tell it like it was now !!

Via a hotdog stand,we grabbed a taxi and finally got back to the hotel at 3:30 to 4:00 ish.We then saw the *delights* of our rooms,which were marginally larger than my bathroom and had 2 bunkbeds in !!! The last thing that I wanted to crash out on now was a friggin' bunkbed !!! Thankfully,I grabbed the bottom one first,'cos there was no way I was going to climb a ladder to get the top one,not in the state that I was. Unfortunately I was not so quick the next night and I had to suffer untold horrors (wait for Day 2) as a result.

And so ended Day 1.