The Toffees come unstuck at all levels! Personal Reports by OUR SALFORD LASS Hi folks, United reserves played their first game back at OT yesterday (playing Everton), so your intrepid reporter took herself along. With the daughter in tow (as she's always reminding me, my real heir - her being 3 years older than the son-and-heir!), we set off on a beautiful Spring day. The sun was shining, the sky was blue and everyone was walking around in t-shirts and wearing smiles which reflected the arrival of Spring. On our way into Stockport we saw the first lambs in the lower fields - it was the sort of day that makes you glad to be alive and a perfect day to watch a game of footie. For once, the public transport system was at its most efficient and we arrived at the top of Sir Matt Busby Way an hour-and-a-half before kick-off. Looking around me, I began to wonder whether I had had a brainstorm and it was actually a first team game! Loads of people around, all the burger bars and souvenir stalls doing a thriving business and mounted police - I'd never seen so much fuss over a reserve game before! Arriving on the forecourt, we realised that East Stand was open, so scooted across to see if we could get in there instead of going into South Stand which is usually the only stand open for reserve games. The notice said "Tickets only". "Does that include season tickets?" I asked. "No", said the steward "You have to go in South Stand as usual". Sulking, we wandered round the corner, wondering what was going on. Arriving at our usual seats (just to the right of the United dugout), we were surprised to find that not only had they opened East Stand, but all four stands were open and were gradually filling up with fans. Someone behind us answered our question - United had been giving free tickets away in McDonalds! The light finally dawned when we realised that the game was live on MUTV - obviously United wanted to make sure they had an audience to make the game look good on TV! This is good news for those of us worried about pay-per-view, who knows, they could start paying us to attend first team games, just to make sure there's an atmosphere! A development I am looking forward to. Whatever the reason, their ploy worked because the final attendance figure was over 15,000! Only Eric has attracted more to a reserve game, as far as I know. So there we were, with an hour to kill before kick-off. And what fun we had in that hour! I thought Fred the Red fun days were bad enough, but the razz-ma-tazz that accompanies live MUTV games makes the fun days look like serious occasions! At times we did wonder whether we'd wandered into the wrong venue - was this a pop concert or a football match? First of all, we had good old Fred warming up the crowd - pretending to do moonies in front of thousands of kids who thought this was the funniest thing they'd ever seen. Then we had a group of fifty teenage girls from Ireland just behind us. They were having a great time, singing Keane and Irwin songs and screaming their heads off most of the time (as I said, more like a Boyzone concert than a football match!). Then Keith Fane made his big mistake - he invited "half-a-dozen" of them to come down onto the pitch and dance to the latest Steps record (for all you old farts out there, Steps are a band!). Of course, all 50 of them descended onto the pitch. Fane and our dearly loved Head of Security spent the next 10 minutes trying to control them and it was hysterical to watch - the best laugh I've had since the Everton physio ran across the pitch at the recent first team game. Finally, with a sigh of relief from Fane, the girls were back in the stand and the players came out onto the pitch. We all lost the use of our ears for the rest of the game when the girls spotted John O'Shea and gave him a very loud, Irish welcome. So it was within relief that those of us over the age of 16 greeted the start of the game. I was delighted to be back at a reserve game again, I love watching the youngsters but haven't been able to get to Bury this season, so it was spot-the-player for the first 10 minutes. It's amazing how much some of these lads change in a few months. Looking down towards our penalty area, I had to do a double-take - what was Peter doing here? No, it wasn't Peter Schmeichel, it was Nick Culkin - looking more like Peter than Peter does! I'm beginning to wonder whether United are involved in some sort of cloning experiment! He stands like Peter, moves like Peter and after seeing a couple of the saves he made yesterday, he appears to be developing into a keeper who could eventually be as good as Peter. The old guy behind us even called him Peter on one occasion! Also playing were Michael Clegg, John Curtis, Jonathan Greening and of course, Superstar himself. The first half was excellent. It was almost all United and the movement was excellent. Everton reserves, like their first team counterparts, had their heads down before the game started. Apart from Michael Branch, they didn't really have any ideas. For the second game running, John O'Kane looked pretty miserable at the back - he must be wondering whether things could have worked out differently for him. We came close a number of times in the first half, and then to the delight of the Irish girls (and the misery of our ear drums) John O'Shea scored after a scramble in the Everton goal mouth. Ian Fitzpatrick soon put us two-up and it was all over for Everton. Just before the end of the first half, Fitzpatrick scored his second and the game was over. Half-time brought more "entertainment" on the pitch with the arrival of the local girl band Cleopatra. For the next fifteen minutes, it was loud music and screaming teenagers! Keith Fane nearly had another heart attack as the timing went adrift and the players and officials came back on the pitch whilst the girls were still singing. Much to our amusement, he was standing in front of the dug-out going red in the face and gesticulating to absolutely no effect! The girls carried on to the bitter end of their tape, even trying to get David May to join in towards the end! Eventually, the game restarted and we sat through a very boring second half! Everton just weren't going to do anything and the United lads seemed to have settled for a 3-0 win. We entertained ourselves listening to the England game on the radio - particularly as the Ginger Prince was having such a good time in the sun at the Ashtray. So to the players - as I said above, I was impressed with Nick Culkin. I was also impressed with John O'Shea - he's a central defender, still looking like he could do with some more weight, but a tall lad who is light on his feet and fast. Superstar didn't impress, unfortunately, you can tell he hasn't had a first team game for a long time. After spending the last few months watching Jaap Stam, May just didn't look the business. I hope I'm wrong, because I really like the lad, but I can't see him getting back in the first team ahead of either Berg, Johnsen or Brown. Michael Clegg had some good moments and played better than recent reports would have forecast. My overall man of the match though, would probably be Ian Fitzpatrick, if only for the period during which he scored his two goals. Towards the end of the game, it was nice to see John O'Kane get a round of applause from the United faithful as he left the pitch, the lad looked miserable. So it was back into the hills, listening to the rest of the England game, and a round-up of the rest of the football, on the radio. This is the first time I have listened to 5 Live - usually I listen to local radio football coverage. What a bunch of arrogant d***heads!! At one point, they wanted to know why there was a Nationwide League programme on whilst something as important as the England game was on! They seem to think that all other sport should be called off (including rugby) so that everyone can sit at home and listen to the England game with them!! We discovered to our amusement that City had had a famous victory - thanks to two goals from Terry Cooke (one a Beckham-like free kick) and had moved to the heady heights of 5th in the second division (no relegation this season then - blast!). We were also delighted to hear that Ole had scored two for Norway - so much for his coach's assertions that not starting regularly would spoil his international career! But the best part of the post-match day was watching the highlights of the England game later in the evening. It was sooooo good to see the England fans having to give a Manchester United player a standing ovation - I did enjoy that!! The next home reserve game at OT is against Leicester City on Wednesday 14th April, kick-off 7pm. The teams: United - Nick Culkin, Michael Clegg, John Curtis, David May (Captain), John O'Shea, Ryan Ford, Richard Wellens, Mark Wilson, Michael Stewart, Ian Fitzpatrick, Jonathan Greening. Subs Hilton, Cosgrave, Evans. Everton - Steve Simonsen, Carl Regan, John O'Kane, Mitch Ward, Adam Eaton, Michael Branch, Phil Jevons, Michael O'Brien, Jamie Milligan, Anthony Hibbert, Keith Southern. Subs Leon Osman, Kevin McLeod, John Wright, David Knowles, Peter Clarke. Top of Pontin's League Premier Division (before this game) - taken from the programme: No of games played Points Manchester United 18 37 Sunderland 17 35 Nottingham Forest 16 27 Everton 14 25 Leeds United 16 24 Blackburn Rovers 15 22 Copyright © 1999 by OUR SALFORD LASS. All rights reserved. Not to be reproduced without permission of the author